back home...

when you are living your life in a new country the words "back home" come up alot - sometimes in conversation with others and sometimes just in your thoughts.  I've been thinking about what back home really means... to me it is those things that are uniquely familiar and make you feel comfortable and secure as well as the place that you feel is home.  Being in a new place can be disorienting - I go to the grocery store here in oz and I dont see familiar brands on the shelves - I have to look at everything and read the label to figure out what items will be most "like home".  Doing new things and trying new foods and visiting new places is very exciting but also exhausting when you try to give each new experience perspective based on what you have always known.  It truly is like falling down the rabbit hole and sometimes I feel like Alice - everything is the same but different somehow.
When I want a taste of "home" I usually just want food from my favorite restaurant.... so while feeling a bit home sick last week I decided to make my favorite dish from my old "local" (australians call the pub they frequent in their town their local)
it just had to be the port torta dish from cactus in seattle... a dish I ate at least once a week for years...
it took 5 different stores and some supplies sent from the states in my last care package to make.... hours of roasting peppers and pureeing ingredients and a few creative substitutions (you just cant find mexican items in australia) and the end result.... was... so much like "back home"

cheers

in the moment...

in the moment...
great in theory but hard to actually accomplish.  I'm thinking alot about what it means to live in the moment.  I guess in basics its noticing and enjoying where you are - which means you are not wishing to be elsewhere or thinking of the past or future.  How hard is it when you don't want to forget those people and things that mean the most to you.
 I'm a natural planner... I LOVE to plan everything (not as good at following through on that plan)  and because I like to plan, it is really hard to stop planning for the future and just live in today.  So I'm making a effort to... notice a smile - especially when its mine.  Enjoy the little things - coffee, a good magazine, my kids laughing and take a deep breath as often as necessary and look around at the good things and moments in my life.

Being happy (or trying to) doesn't have to take away from all I've left behind - it doesn't dishonor my feelings for those things... instead it's a choice to be happy and make the most of all moments - even these hard ones!

marking time...

It is so hard to mark the passage of time when the rules have all changed.  Living in another hemisphere is really putting my sense of time and space to the test.  I was thinking spring summer instead of Christmas... so hard to figure out what month it is because to me in feels like July - we are going to the beach the kids are home for "summer break" and we go to the local pool - we buy ice cream and iced lattes and barbque... but I'm also trying to buy the kids "back to school" items and get them sorted for school... oh yes I just typed "sorted" - in the states I would have said "situated"  
Without the flow of the calendar making sense to me, I just feel a bit out of touch and lost.  Lost is such a familiar feeling for me these days - lost in both space and time.  I'm wondering when I'll wake up and realize what time of year it is and for it to make sense?  I've been here 6 months and have skipped so many markers of time -4th of july- summer (we skipped it arriving in july) - fall going to pumpkin patch with friends - warm drinks - halloween -trick or treating - thanksgiving - christmas lights and decorations ( there were so few here that they almost didnt register as real decorations) and even though we had a wetter and colder than normal December for Australia -it still did not have that crisp feel with the bells ringing in all the shops and Santa on every corner.  Missing what I know will get better over time I'm sure - especially when I figure out the flow of seasons here - so next up is Australia day at the end of the month and I guess it is similar to 4th of July... we'll see if it feels at all the same?